Saturday, December 24, 2011

Pagan Encounter - A commentary by Barney Stinson via EeeJay

Pagan Encounter

(Rating 3.75) A commentary by Barney Stinson via EeeJay 

-A hot girl: Score! 

- Hitting on an engaged woman? You’re a brave soldier, my friend, in the pursuit of bliss on a quest of ‘I SCORED THAT CHICK!’ 

-And you hit that? I gotta know how you did it. No, I’m serious, tell how me how you did it… 

-did you use the classic line ‘You icy bitch!’? (I think it’s a versatile line, which can provide cover for when it doesn’t work and there’s a dog nearby) 

-Or ‘You’re my property?’ (always reminded me of Penthouse apartments for some reason which is interesting cuz the view ‘up top’ is always a sight for the sore eyes. ‘Up-Top-Five!’) 

-Or ‘If you even think about hitting me I’ll dock you one, real bad’. Yeah, that’s always been my favorite. It tells the chick that her man is powerful enough to protect her… from herself

-Dude, you totally need a slap-commissioner. Some one who shall remain unbiased and uphold the rules of slap-fest. I would have recommended Lily but currently she's supervising Marshall and I. How about Phil? 

-What do mean you just ‘made love to her’? Oh you mean you just ‘kissed’ her? That’s it and you scored? What sort of gullible fool is she and where can I find more like her? 

-Bro!!! I salute you for retreat in the face of danger, you backed off whilst ‘making love’. Haha! Oh, you mean you really were making love this time round and backed off? Well the award for the most gullible fool now goes toyou

Your chick on the Hot/Crazy scale: 

She is slim and shiny: HOT 

She captures a bro and gets engaged: CRAZY (not-so-crazy for her) 

She lets you make love (can’t get round this…hahahaha!): HOT 

She knows who’s the boss: HOT 

She captures another bro: CRAZY 

As much I respect you for your achievements, I have to say you have failed all of bro-therhood: You got married. And hence forth you shall be remembered for your elevator tactics and your knowledge of faulty electronics. Rest in Peace. Or marriage, whatever, same difference. 

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